Bad News

So, I don't even know where to start with this post. I am still pretty emotional about this whole thing, so I hope this all makes sense.
Stephen and I were expecting another baby in May. I was 12 weeks along last Friday, the 29th of October. I was really worried because that is about the time that we found out with our first pregnancy that we were going to have a miscarriage. Stephen has an ultrasound machine in his office so he had me go in last weekend so he could look for the heartbeat to try to calm me down. Not only could he not find a heartbeat, but he couldn't find the baby, either. So he had Dr. Larsen, the doctor he is working for come in to look. He also could not seem to find the baby. So, he called a friend of his that is an OBGYN PA and set up an appointment for me for this past Monday, the 1st.
We went in on Monday and found out that we were going to have another miscarriage. I was 12 weeks along, but the baby, (who was laying flat on the bottom of the uterus which is why Stephen and Dr. Larsen couldn't see it) had passed away at 8 weeks. This is the same thing that happened with our first one. I was 14 weeks when I went to the doctor and found out it had passed away at 11 weeks. For some reason my body doesn't want to let these babies go.
So, I went in on Tuesday, the 2nd, and had a D and C. It was my first surgery ever, so I was pretty nervous on top of all of my grief. But, it is over now, and I still have Charlie to care for.
Anyways, that is the basics for what has been going on. Hopefully my next post will be happier.